There were letters I wrote you that I gave up sending, long before I stopped writing. I don’t remember their contents but I can recall with absolute clarity, your name scrawled across the pages. I could never quite contain you to those messy sheets of blue ink. I could not stop you from overtaking everything else.
I wrote your name over and over—on scraps of paper, in books and on the back of my wrists. I carved it like sacred markings into trees and the tops of my thighs. Years went by and the scars have vanished but the sting has not left me. Sometimes when I read a book, parts will lift from the pages in an anagram of your name. Like a code to remind me it’s not over. Like dyslexia in reverse.
Dyslexia, Lang Leav
The Style Mermaid x The Antidotes: #InstaxMini7SGiveaway
Hello my little mermaids! Yana e-mailed me a couple of weeks ago regarding a giveaway and we are both so excited to have come up with a great one for all of you.
Here are the prizes for 4 lucky readers:
- A Fujifilm Instax Mini 7s (Pink) + 1 pack of 10 films
- How To Be An Explorer Of The World by Keri Smith and a Gel Pen Pack from Smiggle
- Blogging For Creatives and Journal from Kiehl
- A brand new white skater skirt
Note: The Instax isn’t brand new BUT it’s in good condition and works perfectly. You may see actual pictures here.
Here’s how you can join:
Because I’m still preoccupied with works
and too lazy to post about our retreat, here’s a video diary that I made to serve as a preview! :-)
Catching Fire | SM City Manila
November 25, 2013
As promised, here’s some of backlogs!
All the graduation feels are creeping inside of each and everyone of us. Especially when we had our graduation pictorial last November 18. It was a very rush grad pictorial since we only knew the date 3 days before. Everyone went gaga as to what their creative shots would be.
Us with Aina and Tee who went there early.
Xiel on her creative shot.
The goddesses! Hah.
Say hi to myself! I badly want my hair straight in my grad picture but unfortunately, the hair stylist insisted to have my hair curled! I said I don’t like because my hair is short but next thing I know he’s curling my hair. T-T
Twinny! <3 As to my creative shot, I was supposed to be Kimbra in Gotye’s Somebody that I Used to Know music video but at the last minute (yes, right after finishing all the paints and stuff), I changed my mind. Blame my inconsistent self. I went for Minnie Mouse because I felt that it would really match my personality. You know, I can go jolly and have a high energy during the whole shoot and that’s what really happened! So, my regrets somehow faded. (but not totally since they said I should’ve pushed Kimbra)
The chaos inside the IMC.
My girls! ♥
The rest are settled now all I have to do is finish thesis, ace my two remaining subjects and one more internship! (guess not everything is settled huh) Aja aja! :-)
My internship in the clinical setting went rather fast than I thought it would be. In the span of 12 days and with 100 hours to fill; we are just starting to grew closer to the patient but next thing we know, we are already on our last day at the institution.
Having an internship at a mental institution, you must have a heart that’s willing to control its softness. I’m not saying that you should be hard on the patients but you should have a heart that knows how to control and not be too emotional whenever you’re around the patients. In there you will hear a lot of stories. Stories as to why they got inside the asylum, stories about how they are longing for the care and company of their loved ones, stories in which you have to filter what is true and what is delusion or just hallucinations, stories about heartaches, infidelities, and how they are willing to change. They are a mix of people with different cases — drug addicts, schizophrenics, rape victims, depressed, mentally retarded. But your heart will be caught when you know what they are all in common, it is to be out of that institution and be with their families. You will not like it inside. The smell is not good, the foods that are served to them are just a little portion of how much they are paying so they always look for foods when they see new people, the facilities are not that friendly. While you will have a pang of pain looking to the patients and so with the environment, you will feel happy knowing that some of them are improving and fighting their own battles.
As to our ojt proper, well, our practicum adviser in our school tasked the institution via the recommendation paper to expose us to several phases and works in the clinical psychology world but unfortunately, the management just let us in what we want to do as long as we are interacting with the patients and having activities. As you can see in the pictures, well one time when we’re too bored we turned ourselves into a Tang warriors. Got the stickers when we bought juice for the patients’ merienda. Also, from time to time we stuffed ourselves with korean ice creams from the nearby grocery and when I brought along Park (my mini cruiser) with me, we cruise around the vicinity and of course who can forget the videoke! I swear I conquer my fear of singing in front of many people during my clinical setting internship. Hah!
To finish this post, well, I came out alive and full of empathy inside me. A lot of lessons learned though we only spent 12 days there. If you have friends or even relatives who’ve been betrayed by their minds, don’t dump them. Instead, understand them and fill them with love. After all, they are human with feelings too.
I know, I know. It’s been a while and I’m back again (well not totally since I still have lots of academics commitment to do) with the very rusty excuse. Senior year is eating me alive.
Here’s some updates about my life so far:
- Had my third heartbreak this year. (First, lost my grandmother in the mother side, Second, someone left) My grandmother in the father side passed away. It’s sad how death comes just like a snap of a finger.
- Watched Catching Fire with some of my girlfriends.
- Internship at mental is finished. (will miss all the patients! :( to be blog soooooon)
- Had our 3 days retreat at Tagaytay last Nov. 29, 30 to Dec 1. It was such an amazing retreat, I swear. (again, to be blog soon)
- Quiz bee tomorrow. (Edit: Got the 2nd place!! :D)
- Practicum report + Thesis
Loads of work to do but as what others say, push lang ng push! All of these will be worth it in March. For now, here’s a lot of selfies to somehow keep this blog kicking. (anyhow, back to thesisssss </3)
Life of being a senior student is not easy peasy. I am currently doing my internship at a mental institution (“intern diaries” segment will be updated soon!) and recently started revising our thesis so I apologize for the lack of updates and for being such an inconsistent blogger.
A lot has been happening lately and I am dang happy about it. Transformation and maturity, I guess. Also, we already had our graduation pictorial (will blog about this soon)! All is well except for my inconsistent self, changing my mind at the last minute for my creative shot (i was supposed to be Kimbra but when everything is set, i settled to be Minnie Mouse. sorry mom! T_T) and the hair stylist who forced me to have my hair curled.
As to the photos above, we had our spontaneous visit at Cafe Noriter last Friday! We are on our way to school when they announced that the classes are cut due to the “Tropa Mo Ko Unli” of TV5’s taping. -____- We decided to stay at the library to edit our thesis but they shooed us away. So we (Hesi, Grace and I) went to SM Manila to chill at Starbucks and again, to edit our thesis but SB at SMM is awfully crowded and the ambiance is not so-so. So, I invited them to Cafe Noriter. The experience was awesome (well, it would be a lot awesome if there are no couples necking and kissing and doing all those extreme PDA stuffs. srsly, we almost said, “get a room”.) and we all fell in love with their double choco chip muffin. Swear to heavens it tasted like fireworks on my mouth! Chilled the whole time and revised our thesis.
So I guess, that was it. ‘Til my next update! Now back to thesis revision.
P.S Sending gratitude to my new readers and to those loyal ones of course! Thanks for sticking around though I rarely update. May God bless everyone!